Reframing Your Negative Thoughts into Positive Ones

Thoughts are fluid, the negative ones can always flow out and positive ones can flow in.

We are all human beings which means negative thoughts will find their way into our minds no matter how good we are at staying positive.

A big misconception is that we have to completely stop negative thoughts from popping into our awareness. This is just simply not true.

Why is it not true?

It’s not true because sometimes we can’t control the thoughts that pop into our head and trying to control that is asking a lot of ourselves. Fighting our thoughts is just as harmful as the negative thoughts themselves.

Think about this for example. When you are trying to fall asleep at night sometimes you may have thoughts that just come in and out of your mind making it difficult to fall asleep. When this happens, some of you may try to shut those thoughts up by ignoring them and as a result, become frustrated.

This act is usually never a productive one and oftentimes leads to just thinking about the thoughts more. I know I have experienced this many times before.

Now, going back to negative thoughts, trying to shut them up usually entails that they are thought about more often. The more you attempt to push them away the more they will bother you by trying to get your attention.

So, instead of trying to ignore negative thoughts and push them away, what if you confronted them?

This can be a scary thought. If you confront those thoughts then you have to deal with the possibility of them being true. But are they true? Or are they just your fears and insecurities coming up in the most hurtful form?

Not all negative thoughts are true, sometimes they are your fears or deeply hidden pains coming up in a form of negative self-talk. Sometimes the thoughts may not even be your own but have been branded in your mind by someone else that you then took on in your own form.

No matter how they became thoughts of your own, it is always possible to switch them from negative to positive with practice, patience, and love.

To explain how this is possible I will go through a scenario with you where someone has negative thoughts come up and then I will show you how they can be shifted to positive ones.

Alex looks in the mirror at themselves while brushing their hair…

Alex’s thoughts: I am so ugly. Did I look like that yesterday? I can’t go out looking like a toad. I’m never good enough, why can’t I just feel confident?

There is a lot to unpack in that statement. Alex has many negative thoughts intruding her consciousness at once and looking in the mirror seemed to trigger that.

There could be many possibilities as to why Alex has these thoughts. The most likely reason is that at some point in their life, Alex was told they were ugly and not good enough. This could have been from their parents, peers, friends, partner, social media, or the news. There is a whole range of possibilities. Therefore, looking at their reflection in the mirror reminded them of the very thing people talked down to them about.

However, now it is up to Alex to decide if they want those thoughts to become them or if they want to shift them to gain that confidence and look in the mirror with a different perspective.

This must be taken one step at a time and the first step is to increase awareness of which thoughts are negative. This may take time and practice so don’t get angry with yourself about it.

To increase awareness means to understand the feelings that come up when you think those negative thoughts…

Alex’s inner dialogue: Wait, let me take a step back. Those thoughts made me feel really sad. Now I feel so self-critical and angry that I let myself look like this.

Alex has now become aware of how those negative thoughts made them feel. Next, you need to reflect on why you think that way.

Alex’s inner dialogue: Why do I feel like I am ugly? Do I really look like a toad? I remember, my mom would always call me ugly growing up, maybe I took that on and made it my reality. I’ve never been told otherwise so I just believed it was true. I guess I never felt good enough or confident in my looks. I never thought I could be anything but ugly.

This is a big step in shifting your negative thoughts — finding the source of your pain associated with the thought. However, this will most likely not happen in one conversation with yourself like I am showing with Alex. I am shortening the process just to give you a better understanding of what it looks like, but the timing is different for everyone.

Now, if you have or have not figured out where your thoughts come from you can still do the next step. The difference is it may be harder to believe the positive thoughts if you haven’t figured out why you are thinking them, but it’s still possible!

So each negative thought you think, take a moment to switch it into something positive.

Alex’s inner dialogue: Let’s flip this script. I am beautiful, I am my own unique kind of beautiful inside and out. I may have looked like this yesterday but that’s okay because I’m not perfect. I may not always feel confident but that doesn’t mean I am not good enough. In fact, I am good enough. I am good enough for me and that’s all that matters.

There will be days where you are able to flip the script as easily as Alex and there will be others where it seems impossible. Both are okay and both are a part of this process.

The key is to never give up, stay patient with yourself, and give yourself the gift of awareness. Once you get the awareness part down the rest will become easier over time.

If you are someone who has obsessive negative thoughts, this process will most likely take a lot longer and be more difficult to transform. However, it is NOT impossible! Thoughts are not concrete, they can always be shifted and transformed.

We never start off life thinking we are ‘ugly’, we become aware of it from an outside source and make it our own. Our thoughts then transform into negative ones. That’s how our negative thoughts became our reality. Therefore, you can make positive thoughts your new reality by doing the same thing.

It will not be perfect but it will be what you need to shift your negative thoughts into positive ones.

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