Learning to be Present
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the now the primary focus of your life.” -Eckhart Tolle
The greatest gift you can ever give yourself is the ability to be present in your life. With this gift, you can appreciate the little things, have more appreciation for life, be happier, and love deeper.
At times where we drift away from the present by planning for the next thing or thinking about the future, we lose sight of what is right in front of us. I mean if you are always thinking about the next thing how will you ever enjoy this thing?
Many people get stuck in their fear, worry, anger, and anxiety about the future that they forget they aren’t even there yet. Then when these negative emotions fail to go away it creates an obsession to control your future in hopes that your worries don’t become your reality.
Another way this happens is when there is an internal fight against where you are at the moment. A good example of this is when lockdown started in March and I had to come home from college. . .
I was having so much fun at school and felt like everything in my life was finally falling into place. Then I suddenly had to move back home. I was so focused on getting back to school, back with my friends, and having my independence back that I was counting down the days until summer was over (hoping I could go back to school then).
I know now that this was me wanting to escape my present circumstance so badly that I was imagining the day I would finally be out of it. The problem with that is it never happened and I am still at home. So while I was counting down the days to something I knew might not even happen, I missed out on all the good that being home brought at the time, like being with my family and being closer to my boyfriend.
When this desire to be anywhere but where you are comes up, it creates a disconnect between the mind and the body. Our mind wants to be somewhere else but our bodies are stuck in the present.
This disconnect between what we want and what we can actually do intensifies the anger, fear, worry, and anxiety until we accept our present circumstances. Until then, we are fighting an internal battle that neither your mind nor body can win.
In this case, the only way to reconnect our mind and body is to learn how to stay present.
Now, being present is not an easy thing to do and will not happen automatically. Our minds naturally wander because there is often so much going on around us that stimulates our thoughts, emotions, and responses all at the same time.
The trick to being present is learning to tune all of that out so you can focus on the moment you are in. It also helps to understand that stressing about where you are going to be in 5 years won’t get you there any faster.
Of course, it is important to still have goals and make plans for how to achieve them but you can do that and be present at the same time. The way to do that is to leave the future in the future and focus on what you can do right now that will help you reach those future goals.
Now, as I said before learning to be present is not easy and takes a lot of time and commitment.
So how can you work on being more present? Below are some suggestions that I have tried or that I know other people have tried that I recommend. However, if you are in a crisis please call 911 or contact a professional.
- Go for a Meditation Walk: tap into your senses by asking yourself to find 3 things for each of your senses (3 things you can see, hear, taste, etc.)
- Acceptance vs. Resistance: tune into what you are feeling about your current circumstance. Why do you feel that way? Then work on letting go and think about the gifts your hardship is bringing you.
- Sit Still & Breathe: sit or lay with your eyes closed, focusing on the way your breath feels and sounds. You can breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it for 5, and then breathe out for 5.
- Grounding meditation: while outside, preferably barefoot, you can do the same breathing exercise from above or keep your eyes open and focus on the things you love around you while taking deep breaths. Great meditation you can use: https://youtu.be/AZb363fSpqE
- Find the light in your life situation: Find something happy or good about each moment (can be as simple as being alive). Remember this hardship is a small chapter out of your life, it’s not forever.
- Make space for good: don’t overload your schedule because a hectic lifestyle can ruin your attention span and be used as an escape from the present.
- Yoga: This is my personal favorite! Doing yoga combines all of the above tips to help center yourself in the moment by quieting the mind and focusing only on your body, breath, and what is around you. Free yoga practice platforms: Fitton app, Alo yoga youtube, Yoga with Adrienne youtube
These will not only increase your presence but also increase your self-awareness, consciousness, and help you feel happier in your everyday life.
However, it is important to remember that everyone is different and some ways might not work for you. It may take practice and time to stay fully present so don’t be too hard on yourself!
If you have any questions about being present, these tips, or want to know more you can message me on Instagram at @skylarraeblog or leave me a private comment on this article!
Sincerely,
Skylar Rae
