Are you Sabotaging Your Ability to Love?
You may be ready to accept love from others but are you willing?
Do you feel loved? Like really loved unconditionally? When you think of feeling loved who are the first people that come to mind?
If you thought of someone, even if it is yourself, how are you accepting that love into your life? Are you embracing it or are you running from it?
If you are running, why can’t you trust and believe that you can be loved by the people who love you? What past time in your life is making you question your worthiness?
These are honest questions that I want you to really think about before reading on.
The truth is that we are all able to accept love into our lives but many people aren’t actually willing to.
You may be thinking that doesn’t make any sense, why would anyone NOT be willing to accept and feel loved? Well, the reason is that they are afraid of it — afraid that it won’t last, afraid that they are unworthy, afraid that it’s not real, afraid that there will be strings attached etc.
Most of the time this fear is unconscious and as a result, self-sabotaging behaviors form in order to “protect” themselves from the possibility of those fears becoming reality. However, this “protection” usually does more harm than good to the individual.
For example, imagine a couple who has been in a relationship for a few years. Their relationship is filled with a lot of unconditional and pure love up to this point. However, this couple gets into a small disagreement about something that can easily be fixed with better communication. However, one partner takes it personally and feels like this disagreement means that their partner doesn’t love them. It now becomes a big argument and they say things they really don’t mean. As a result, the one partner feels they messed up too bad to ever be loved again.
Now, this example may resonate with you or it may seem silly that the person would go to such an extreme over a small disagreement.
If you think it’s silly, you are right. However, this is a very realistic example of that self-sabotaging behavior and very real for the people who feel that way. It’s possible for someone who feels like love is unstable or untrustworthy to go to that extreme over something that can be fixed with hard work and determination.
The possibility that this argument is an indication that their fears of love are real causes an individual to react in a way they think protects themselves. In this case, that protection is to say the person must not love them and leave the best relationship they’ve ever had.
Even if this person realizes that they messed up and that they are leaving the best love in their life, it would be hard to own up to that and come back because then they have to admit that their methods of protection are false.
Only when one decides that the love they had is more important than any limiting and false beliefs will they be able to come back or enter their next relationship with more of an open mind to their ability to be loved.
You don’t have to live a life that is loveless. If you want to be loved but are making excuses as to why you can’t find it take a look at what you’re doing. Are you trying but are deep down afraid to be loved?
You might be the one person in your own way of being both accepting and willing to be loved.
You deserve love. You are loved. It may even be reaching out to you but you’re afraid to grab onto it. But do it, hold onto it, and don’t let that pure unconditional love go, even if you are afraid.
You will just spend more of your life missing out on something so amazing because your mind tricked you into believing you are unworthy of what has already been given to you.
❤️🌻 Thank you for reading!
For more inspiration, soul enlightenment, mental health, and personal development follow my Instagram — @skylarraeblog
