10 Lessons From 2021

For me, 2021 was filled with a lot of pain. But all that pain turned into great lessons.

This year, I experienced a lot of heartbreak, loss, confusion, grief, and pain. I had never experienced a year full of such deep pain for myself and for the ones I love most. It was as if all I had known for so long was suddenly riped from my soul and having to understand how to cope with that was something I had never done before.

I also felt a heavy responsibility to fix what had been broken and like it was my job to put the pieces back together. I struggled to find a way to fix an old model I had of my world just so I could hold on to what I once had. And with every failure I felt more and more lost.

I would share how I felt with those close to me, trying not to hold back, trying not to fall for the same miscommunication trap that played a factor in these moments of 2021. But at some point I realized that none of it ever really made me feel better and that’s because my motivation to share was guided by my hope to make other people around me feel less pain. Not because I felt I wanted to speak up for myself.

Because I spent so much time trying to make other people feel better, I became passive to what I needed and allowed others to be hurt by that passvity.

I will never forget the weight in my chest, the tears that had fallen, and the panic in my body from 2021.

But I will also never forget the lightness of joy and love that I felt in 2021.

Despite the pain that 2021 brought, it also brought immense growth for me that led to a lighter and more love-filled existence. I found my passion, began working towards an exciting future career, developed stronger relationships, and learned more than I ever could have imagined about myself, others, and life.

Of course, this helped me understand more of what I was going through but it also gave me a hope that was more personal rather than dependent on what I was going through. And at some point, after working through a lot, I could finally seperate myself from the chaos and think clearly for the first time.

Resentment was replaced with understanding. Anger was replaced with gratitude. Sadness was replaced with joy. Confusion was replaced with peace.

Of course, I still experience those emotions from time to time and I will still feel pain around what has happned, but the difference is in how I decide to react to those emotions and what I choose to lead my life with. This wouldn’t be possible without having done the work to feel and sort through my emotions but it’s always possible to see things in a new light and not be anchored down only by what presents itself to you physically.

As you can see, It’s been a whirlwind year for me, as I imagine it has been for many of you. And if there’s one thing I can do for you before this year is over is to share what I have learned in the hope that you take some time to do the same for yourself…

10 lessons I’ve learned in 2021:

1. You don’t have to fix things/problem solve for other people. The best way to help is to listen and to guide them to think of their own answers.
2. Letting go is an act of freedom not an avoidance. (when you allow yourself to feel before letting go)
3. What you focus on can change your entire life.
4. You can choose how you react to things and how you feel about them.
5. Sometimes what’s real is blocked by what we want or by what we want to give to others.
6. You can still feel at peace even when things are chaotic around you.
7. Attempting to control what’s out of your control will only lead to feeling more of a lack of control.
8. Setting boundaries is not mean, it’s necessary when you’re well-being is being compromised.
9. You can feel joy and pain at the same time.
10. It’s not selfish to feel happy when others aren’t.

What have you learned in 2021 that has changed your life?

❤️🌻 Thank you for reading!

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